God is faithful in our failures

So I am supposed to be working but my heart is so full and my mind is racing after an amazing morning at church. Today I was invited to speak at our church and it gives me such a buzz, I can’t even tell you! As a writer, I know how to write good content, however, when you are writing down words whispered by a Holy God, that is a whole different ball game.

Just to be clear  – I am nothing ‘special’. Okay, I know that is controversial because we are all special and unique in Christ, and we were created by a loving God for a heavenly purpose. But seriously, day-to-day I am just a working mom of two, going about my ordinary everyday life like everyone else. I arrive screech up to the school gates late, sans makeup and hair scraped back in a ponytail, and usher my charges into class before slumping back at the wheel of my car, thinking; did I really go out in public looking like that? I get angry at life and throw tantrums that would make my kids proud when things don’t work out. I am impatient, I jump in with both feet when I should only be dipping my toe in the water, and the proverbial dummy is well and truly spat out when my well laid out plans disintegrate in front of my eyes. I get distracted by things of the world when I should be in devotion to my heavenly Father.

But do you know what? God is faithful even in our failures.

God will use us even when we aren’t at our best, He will be faithful even when we are not. Some of my most profound moments of witness for Jesus have been in most profound moments of pain and pouting. Some of my biggest testimonies have been off the back of my biggest tantrums, some of my most defining hours have followed my most undignifed days.

No one is perfect, least of all me, yet God so graciously pours His love and grace into my soul and whispers His words into my heart. None of us set out to mess up yet we still manage it, but my friend, never doubt that God can use you. Your biggest mess could be the biggest miracle for someone else, as God uses your experience to enable you to help others.

If God can use a murderer like Moses, an adulterer like David and a prostitute like Rahab, then He can sure use you and me to fulfill His purposes on earth and bring glory to His name. The very idea that God would speak to me, and give me a word to share with others astounds me. The fact that He would choose to use my imperfections and idiosyncrasies to illustrate His perfect love and grace is unfathomable. Yet He does so, day after day.

Have you had a tough day?  a tough week? a tough year? Are you circling the same old sins and battling the same old demons? Have you failed to quit something you should never have started or failed to start something you should never have quit? Are you tired of trying and failing?

God is saying; “My child, don’t give up.”

You have not failed, you are not on the scrap heap of life, you are not second best. God keeps no records of wrong and His mercies are new every morning. He has not forgotten you, He is working behind the scenes and He is going to use this trial for your good and His glory.

Keep going.




Faith, Parenting

Singing over me

Are you lying awake right now, scanning the screen to kill time while sleep continues to elude you?

As a self-confessed night owl, I am frequently found burning the midnight oil only to suffer the consequences at 6 am when my sons decide its breakfast time. My recent trip to Cherish women’s conference in Leeds (which requires a whole other blog to discuss!) was no exception to this rule, with God conversations running into the wee hours and early mornings to secure the best seats in the house, followed by a 2 hour drive home. I came back spiritually refreshed but physically exhausted!

Upon my return that Saturday night, I found my beautiful boys bundled up in their beds. I lay next to them, snuggling their warm bodies and inhaling their scent deeply while I kissed their sleeping heads. Oh how I had missed them, I felt like my heart could burst as I quietly sang a melody over them.

Did you know that God sings a melody over you?

He watches you while you sleep, he sees the weary arms and legs flop onto the mattress, pulling sheets and blankets around your shoulders to shut out the world as you sink into slumber. God sees when you cry silent tears into the pillow for a love lost. He watches you as you toss and turn, reliving painful memories or fretting about the future. He hears the very thoughts in your mind as you lie awake pondering how to overcome a situation at work.

And all the while He is singing.

The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17

Singing melodies over your soul to gently soothe your troubled mind and reveal more and more of his power and grace. He instructs the angels to stand by your bedside and protect you from harm. God himself lays down next to you and wraps you up in a loving embrace to reveal his Father heart for his sons and daughters.

And he misses you.

Your absence from church hasn’t gone unnoticed by your heavenly father. Your polite decline to the numerous connect group meetings have not been overlooked. Your reluctance to come and sit in the presence of God and simply talk to him, breaks his heart.

God misses you!

As a Father and Mother miss their child when they are away, so too does our heavenly Father when we wander from the path that he has predestined for you. Absence certainly does make the heart grow fonder however, and with each passing day God is increasingly aware that you are hovering dangerously out of teach, vulnerable to distraction or attacking not safe in his arms, and he wants to draw you in to him, into his peace and into his purpose.

So as you lay yourself down to sleep, I pray the Lord your soul shall keep.
And I pray the Lord will let you hear, his songs of love whispered in your ear.