Faith, Lifestyle

Consuming content or choosing content?

Staying home has meant more time on our hands. We are scrolling more, reading more and watching more. But what are you watching?

God has been really speaking to me out of Proverbs 31 and I wanted to share some thoughts from verse 27 with you.

She carefully watches over everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness ~ Proverbs 31:27 NLT

She carefully watches. She watches what is going on in her home, what her children are watching, what they are watching her watching.

Over the last two weeks I have found it so easy to mindlessly scroll, reading reports that bring fear and despair, watching programmes that make me angry or on edge. What we watch has an impact on our soul.

Jesus said “Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body.” What He meant by that was that we need to be mindful of what we look at. Be careful what we watch, because we cannot unsee something we have seen. The truth is the world is a scary place right now. But rather than consume content which further heightens our anxiety, we need to choose content that fills us and builds us.

The dictionary tells us that the noun content is a thought, a subject, or subject matter. Content can be a burden; as we consume it it can sit heavily in our hearts, dominate our thoughts. Jesus doesn’t want us to hold these burdens, He wants us to exchange them for His peace. But even more than that He promises to show us how.

Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fighting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly Matthew 11:29-30.

I won’t lay anything heavy on you or ill-fitting on you.

There is a lot of heaviness in the world, but we aren’t called to hold it. There is a lot of darkness in the world but we don’t have to be a part of it. If the eye is a lamp to our body then we need to make sure that what we are watching floods our soul with light not darkness. Watching movies and scrolling Facebook isn’t the problem, but what we are looking at can be.

As Christians, we can choose to be content despite the chaos. To choose to be still when the storms rise around us. But to do that we need to be carefully watch everything in our household.

R x

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Faith, Parenting

Learning lessons

At first glance this looks like a father and son moment; a lesson in handling a saw and managing a garden. The truth is it is a lesson in handling consequences and managing poor decisions.

Look closer at the picture, do you see the tree on the right? It has a huge branch torn off the trunk because my son swung on it and it ripped the tree.

That wasn’t just a tree, and the damage isn’t just a broken branch. That was my favourite tree, adorned with lanterns and bird feeders. It was special to me because it helped me manage my discontent in living in the city, it brought me such joy to seeing the wild birds hopping around in its branches and it provided shelter as we played in the garden

As a new homeschooler I am trying so hard to cultivate an environment of love and joy both in my garden and in my home, but I rarely seem to succeed of late. We have strong willed children who challenge us often and at the end of the a tough week this broken branch spoke of my broken my heart.

I knew parenting wouldn’t be easier but I never dreamed it would be so hard. I didn’t know how much it could hurt when your flesh and blood acts out. I want to fight for my children, not against them. I often wish I could ‘fix’ them, but perhaps this has more to do with my own iniquities rather than theirs.

I am not just a mom, I am a daughter of the King. And when I feel like I can’t, He can.

God created me to be a mama and He gave me these children to raise. I am going to need to learn some lessons of my own in raising my wildlings.

So today as I gather the remains of my beloved boughs, I gather my thoughts and give them to God. Time to go back to the Source to find our Selah. 

R x

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Faith, Homeschool, Parenting

The Home School Diaries #3

I got it wrong today. Okay not just today, but spectacularly so on this occasion. This time it was with my middle child, my easiest by far and my least demanding. He is so often overshadowed by his more vocal siblings or overlooked as he is generally happy to go with the flow.

We were doing our daily devotions (yes I know, the irony is not lost on me) and I was asking him to read aloud from his Bible, like I do every morning. He was dragging his feet, messing about and flicking through the pages at a snails pace. My impatience boiled over, my little boy crumpled, his tears tumbled and my heart broke.

I drew him into my arms and said I was sorry. He said he didn’t understand how to find what I had asked him to read and I realised he needed me to explain it better. All too often I expect so much of him as I am busy dealing with his two year old sister (I had already dealt with two potty incidents before I finished reading my devotional page aloud).

I lifted my son onto my lap and I asked if he wanted me to sit with him and talk it through with him. He looked up at me with tearstained cheeks and nodded. We then spent a happy half hour together, my boy snuggled on my lap while I spoke softly and encouraged him. I showed him the different parts of the Bible, how it is made up of the Old and New Testament, and contains 66 books. We looked at the content page and we found today’s scripture together. He read it beautifully and we finished our devotional with smiles on our faces and love in our hearts.

Being a mom of three, I feel constantly pulled in every direction, and never more so than when it comes to teaching my children. They all need different approaches, different atmospheres, different content. But one thing that they all need is love.

The one thing that my children need most is my love

I need to teach them from a place of love, of patience and of acceptance. I am their mom first, educator second. My job is to love the bones off those kids so that they feel safe and cherished, which will empower them to learn. I need to not bark out instructions but learn alongside them.

That is just the way that God works too. He is a loving Father who wants to love the bones off us, if only we will let Him. He doesn’t want us to flail around or panic because we don’t know what to do. He wants us to come to Him and say Papa I don’t understand. Then He can swoop down and scoop us into His arms and talk us through it.

When I experience the love of God it makes it far easier to love in all circumstances.

As they say, every day is a school day, and this new homeschool mama is on a learning journey too.

R x

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Homeschool, Lifestyle, Parenting

The Homeschool Diaries #2

So by the school calendar, we are about to complete our first half term as homeschoolers! People keep asking me, how is it going? How does it feel? The short answer is liberating and exhausting!

First off, my favourite thing is no school run. Let’s be honest, NO ONE likes the school run. Getting three people out of the door by 8.20am required the patience of a saint and a miracle of God. In their absence it resulted in rushed breakfasts, tired kids, shouty parents and tears on the journey. Not fun.

Now our days start slower. Still early (thanks boys) but not rushed. We have a leisurely morning, and try not to arrange things before 10am. Our girl is in nursery two days a week so the boys and I hit the library or attend home ed groups such as CHEW (Christian Home Educators Warwickshire). Other days are taken up with National Trust trips, picnics and park dates.

As we aren’t starting a curriculum until September it all feels very much like the school holidays with projects thrown in. But as any parent will tell you, 4-5 weeks into the summer break and we all ready to send them back to school. And we are there.

It’s not all fun and games finding a new rhythm

It’s not all fun and games, and finding our new rhythm as a family has been hard on us all. My eldest misses structure and routine. My two boys are bickering A LOT. And I have a two year old. Enough said. Our home is busy, but when you are together 24/7 things can feel very intense.

I have been tempted to start our curriculum early to placate my 9yo, but I know we all need this period of deschooling. Even their stomachs are run by the school timetable! They routinely say “we would have a snack now at school”. What I have implemented is a weekly homeschool planner to plot our events, groups, library visits and play dates so the children can see what’s coming up. This will also help me to indicate the days I need to work, so we can all be respectful of each other’s time.

That said, we are all loving not being tied to the school routine. I believe that children are meant to be wild and free. We can now play out a bit longer at the park, or linger over treasures found in the woods. We can read an extra chapter of a book or watch another episode. And all the time that we have this extra time, I am watching.

And all the time that we are together I am watching.

Watching what they like and dislike. Watching how they play and interact. Watching what they need and when they need it. Trying to be intentionally present so that I might better meet their needs.

Homeschool is hard. So is parenting. But I am choosing to be present over perfect and trying my best. And so far, it’s the best decision I ever made.

R x

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Essential Oils, Lifestyle, Parenting

Why Oils Are A Mom Essential

Motherhood is especially hard when your babies aren’t well. My girl has chicken pox, which is no surprise as she has been so exposed to it through many of our close friends. What has surprised me is how hard it has hit her, and my usually tenacious toddler is now feverish and fretful.

Fortunately this isn’t our first rodeo, and having had two boys who suffered with terrible cases of chicken pox, this mama is armed and ready. Last time round, I relied on over the counter drugs and oat filled socks in the bath, however this time I have extra help thanks to my natural wellness kit.

So far I have used 10 of the 12 essential oil in my tool kit. The main contenders are Lavender, Copaiba and Frankincense in the bath and also in coconut oil as a lotion to soothe her skin and calm her mind. Next up Thieves, Purification and Peppermint diffused in her room to help support her immune response and keep her cool. Because she feels warm we are also using Digize to help her tummy feel happy. Mama is slathering on Stress Away and Orange as I cannot bear seeing my babies suffering. That only leaves Lemon (which will be in my G&T later) and R.C. which I usually use for respiratory support! So to say that my oils are well used is an understatement!

Hopefully we will turn a corner tomorrow and start to see the spots drying up, but for now I will be powered by Jesus, coffee and essential oils! Prayers appreciated! In the meantime if you want the down low on how to get this wellness kit into your home, message me or comment below!

R x

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Lifestyle, Parenting

Dear Harry and Meghan

Two days in to being parents, congratulations! The adrenalin is still running, hormones flowing, body aching and heart bursting. You are besotted with your beautiful boy and cannot bear to take your eyes of him for fear of missing something. Netflix has nothing on watching a newborn sleep.

Any parent will tell you that raising children is the most exhilarating and exhausting, beautiful yet bewildering role they have ever had. Being a mother was, and still is, my greatest ambition and my greatest achievement. But it has not been without its challenges, namely around maternal mental health, which was overcome with a lot of love, faith, prayer and communication.

I want to encourage you both that you have a winning formula to start your new role as parents. When we watch you in public, we see warmth, love and respect, a genuine affection for one another that overrides the world around you. This love, this bond is your greatest source of strength as you navigate your new normal.

To any new parents I say this; keep checking in on each other. Sleepless nights can strain solid marriages, teething tests a mother’s bond to breaking point and tantrums can make the most patient parent tear their hair out. These seasons of motherhood are messy and miraculous.

It’s normal to find the days long and the nights longer. It’s natural to go into survival mode as the days blur from one to another in the early weeks and months. My advice to all new parents is to keep looking at one another. Keep locking your gaze and speaking words of love, encouragement and understanding through your eyes in the way that only couples can. Talk often and openly about everything and anything.

Be patient with each other, hold hands, hold your tongue and hold on for the ride. And above all, trust God as you embark on the best role there is.

Enjoy every minute.

R x

Photo Credit: Chris Allerton ©️SussexRoyal
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Faith, Homeschool, Parenting

The Homeschool Diaries #1

We have completed our first week of homeschool, and true to form I’ll be sharing our journey here. I’ve been slathering on ALL the grounding essential oils to keep us calm and collected. Sacred Mountain, stress Away and Peppermint by day and Dreamcatcher by night 👌🏻

So what does homeschool look like? Well honestly, I have no idea yet. I am trusting God every step on this journey, and our homeschool is very much His homeschool. We aren’t doing any formal education until September, so truth be told this week has felt like an extension of the half term holiday. The general advice is that you should deschool one month for every year that your child has been at school, so for our eldest that means five months. I’ve got to be honest I don’t know if we will make it the full five months but it is vital we take it slow and strip it right back to basics.

This week we had play dates with some lovely homeschoolers and it was wonderful to watch the children just being free. Bee loved having her brothers with her all the time, and the boys enjoyed meeting lots of other homeschooled children. I think it opened their eyes to the fact that there is a whole other community out there! Our eldest especially loved attending a home we multi-sports event where he got to try his hand at golf!

I am constantly in awe of how much support and resource there is that we can access. We have felt so welcomed in our first week on this journey. Dave and I are headed to not one but two home education conferences this month which will help us find our feet too. First up is the Learn Free Conference in Coventry in a couple of weeks that we are going to together (child free!). It is also our anniversary weekend so will be surprising my man with a cheeky night away too. Then, the week, after I am part of the volunteer team at Wild + Free Europe conference in Stratford! I cannot wait to love on the mamas and learn from the best. May is going to be awesome!

R x

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Adoption, Faith, Lifestyle, Parenting

Everything I never wanted

It is Mothers Day, and this is the first one as a mom of three that I am actually looking forward to. Last year I was dreading the emotions (or lack thereof), that I would feel when my children bundled into bed with me.

I consider myself crazy blessed as a mom of three, but I wouldn’t wish my motherhood journey on anyone. Before I had my first child I knew a little about postnatal depression and knew of people who experienced it, but I learned so much more when I actually experienced it. I had moderate postnatal depression after my second son was born.

I put my tiredness down to juggling two, I put my desolation down to long days and sleepless night. It took me five excruciating months to get professional help with my maternal mental health and medication and conversation helped me through one of the darkest times. Fast forward a few years to the adoption of our daughter. A perfect princess to complete our family, yet when she arrived, my world came crashing down once again.

Motherhood seemed to be everything I never wanted

It seemed so unfair. I wanted to feel happy and proud but I felt terrified and trapped. I wanted to cherish and treasure my babies but I was angry and ashamed. All I had ever wanted was to be a mom, yet not once, but twice my mental health suffered as a result. I had done everything ‘right’, prepared, planner and prayed, yet postnatal and post adoption depression and anxiety tried to crush me.

But it failed.

Because my God is greater.

If you are facing tough times please know that you are not alone.

God will never leave you nor forsake you, even if you feel like He has.

I spent hours, literally hours on my knees crying and screaming out to God to fix the mess I was in, to take away the pain. I didn’t feel Him but I know He was there. And now as I look at my babies, I look back and see that while I was holding on to hope, God was holding onto them.

He cradled my baby when I couldn’t.

He soothed troubled hearts while mine was overwhelmed.

He did what I wouldn’t, then when I was ready He gently handed them back to me.

Mama, if you are reading this in the wee hours of the night because you cannot sleep, or with tears rolling down your cheeks because you know how it feels to want to just run away from everyone, everything, please know you are not alone. I was there, twice. I made it through and you will too.

Check out our Facebook group Moms on Mental Health for friendship and support with other mamas who have overcome depression or are still battling through it. We are stronger together and we would love to cheer you through the dark days.

R x

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Parenting

Just a mom?

You are more than just a mom. Those words actually make me wince.

Today is International Women’s Day and social media is all lit up with phrases like ‘you are more than just a mom, you are a woman, you can rule the world’. Hashtags like #girlboss #bossbabe #girlpower and #thisgirlcan constantly remind us that we can have our cake and eat it, that our identities are not found in the mouths we feed or in the nappies we change, but are found in the very core of our being, in our passions, gifts and talents.

As the next generation of powerful women, we are called to use our passions and become entrepreneurs, CEO’s, politicians and public speakers. We are women, hear us roar, and we are destined for greatness.

But what if you are destined to be a mother?

But what if you are destined to be a mother? What if, since you were a little girl, all you have dreamed of is holding your very own baby in your arms and raising a family?

What if you just wanted to be a mom?

I am a big advocate for women achieving all they can be and more, and I don’t want to offend anyone who thinks I don’t approve of their life choices. Your personal path in life is exactly that; personal. I love that women can run FTSE100 companies and manage to run a household at the same time. I love that women can hustle with the best of them in the board room then come home to read bedtime stories. I love that women can lead our country, do all these things and more, providing that they are happy and fulfilled while doing them.

As for me? I have always just wanted to be a mother. Sure I have talents; I am a voracious reader and as you might have guessed an avid blogger to boot. I love networking, communicating and being creative. I am passionate about writing, in pretty much any form, from web content for a client, to worship songs on my piano. But I don’t see myself as a writer who is also a mom, I see myself as a mom who is also a writer.

I don’t see myself as a writer who is also a mom,
I see myself as a mom who is also a writer.

Rightly or wrongly, motherhood is an identity that I truly identify with. I see it as less of a label and more of a mantle bestowed upon me by God Himself. Yes, there are days when I might gladly trade my beautiful children for wild animals, in the hope that the animals will be easier to control, but by and large, motherhood is, in my humble opinion, the greatest role I will ever have. And if you don’t agree with my thinking, then guess what? That is ok too!

Alongside my husband, I am responsible for shaping three little lives. I am responsible for keeping them safe while teaching them how to eat, drink, speak, dress and navigate this dark world in which we live. As a mother, my role is to ultimately prepare my children for life without me, and I don’t want this responsibility to fall on anyone else’s shoulders but mine.

I am so incredibly grateful for my self-employed businesses, which means I get the best of both worlds; the freedom to raise my family and the finances to help support our home lives. I love my work and I don’t take it for granted. But I do want to acknowledge the stay at home mom’s who have chosen to commit to the most incredible, selfless and, at times thankless, job of raising their family full time.

On International Women’s Day 2019, whether you are high flying career mom or homeschooling hippie mom, (or both!) please remember this:

You are not just a mom, you are a manager of a human being.

And that, my friend, is pretty awesome.

R

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Essential Oils, Lifestyle, Parenting

Back to School

First week into the new term and my emotions have been all over the place! The highs of the holidays followed by nervous excitement in the days leading up to the first day back all take their toll. Not to mention the fact that my middle son decided that the first day of Year 1 would be a great time to lose his second tooth. I was a hot mess.

I have a love-hate relationship with school. On one hand it is a place where I have seen my children thrive. They have learned new skills, made incredible friends (not to mention linked me to some pretty awesome mom friends!) and have grown in stature and confidence. However, I struggle with the fact that my kiddos spend over six hours of their day, five days a week, with people who I barely know. Their characters and their personalities are being influenced by people who undoubtedly have very different lives, loves and beliefs to me.

Now don’t get me wrong, I trust our teachers implicitly. The school that my children attend is excellent, the staff are kind and caring, having benefited from strong leadership and ethos. But sometimes I struggle with the fact that after a summer of freedom and learning through play, I am sending my small children into a classroom to sit still for a good portion of their day. I worry that someone may be mean to them or that they may end up playing alone. I worry that they might find the work too difficult, that they may feel overwhelmed or out of their depth. I worry that they may not be noticed or that they may be sad, or that they may simply be missing me.

Short of homeschooling, (which is something I have seriously considered, and decided that, for now at least, this isn’t an option for me) there is very little I can do to control or influence what happens in the classroom. But I can control what happens in the home.

You will know that essential oils play a massive part in our every day lives, and the children are no exception. We use them to support us physically and emotionally. I want to share with your our every day oily routine to help get the term off to a great start, for both me as a mama and for the children at school.

First and foremost we start every day by diffusing citrus oils. Citrus essential oils are true multitasking oils. They lift the mood and give you a natural pick-me-up, whilst calming the mind and boosting the immune system, making them a perfect way to start the day. We usually diffuse 2 drops each of grapefruit, orange and lemon essential oil which smell divine and make us feel soo good.

Next up we all have a swipe of our Immune Roller before getting dressed for the day. This roller includes Thieves, Frankincense and Lemon essential oil, all epic oils for supporting the immune system and helping the body during cold and flu seasons. Going back to school with lots of new children can be overwhelming for little bodies. Throw in the emotions of starting a new school/class and being away from home can make them very susceptible to coughs and colds. We use this roller day in, day out, but when it is back to school we go twice a day to keep all the bases covered.

Before we leave I use my Calm Roller Blend on the boys. It contains Vetiver, Lavender + Cedarwood essential oils which promote calm, focus and concentration. If they are particularly anxious we reach for Valor or Stress Away to help us feel cool and courageous. Meanwhile I am also rolling on Stress Away for the school run dash!

On pick up in the afternoon, the first thing we do is use our Thieves Hand Purifier. My kiddos have been touching who knows what and I want to make sure their hands are clean before giving them an after school treat. Then its back home where I am diffusing Stress Away and Peppermint. Stress Away helps them calm down after a busy day and Peppermint is amazing for focus and concentration while we wrap up any homework.

Finally, we will get everyone bathed and top up the bedroom diffusers. For the first week back we use Thieves and Orange or Thieves and Frankincense to keep that immune system boosted while they sleep. Ordinarily we go for sleepy vibe blends such as Peace & Calming or Lavender + Cedarwood. As they climb into bed we do another swipe of the Immune Roller on the soles of their feet before bedtime prayers.

And that my friends is how we use essential oils to go back to school! These natural, non-toxic products pack a punch and we wouldn’t be without them. If you have never used essential oils before and want to know how to get hold of some to support your family please drop me a line by clicking the join our team tab or follow this link as I would love to hook you up!

Have a blessed week Little Oilers

R x

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